Are you struggling to feel like yourself? Does it seem like you’re straining to maintain a persona that doesn’t quite fit?
Perhaps you have a fear of saying the wrong thing and making a bad impression in front of your friends, family, or coworkers.
Maybe fear or anger holds you back from actively engaging in conversation, not to mention honestly and effectively expressing what you think and how you feel.
Are you seeking deeper and more meaningful relationships than you’ve had thus far in life, whether they be with friends, family, or your significant other?
Do you have trouble knowing how to relate, even with those closest to you?
Maybe you wish to understand the actions of other people, and likewise, you long to be recognized and accepted for who you truly are.
It’s possible you feel afraid to stand up for yourself, whether in your relationship or at work. You may be suffering from physical or emotional abuse, or confused about whether or not the treatment you’re facing really qualifies as abuse. You may find yourself lashing out, even when you don’t want to or really understand why.
You may wish to communicate what you’re really thinking in a way your partner, coworkers, or friends will understand, but don’t know how. Besides, how can they accept you when it seems like the world doesn’t?
Are you searching for answers and understanding? More than anything, do you want to feel at peace with yourself and the people you love?
In our global world, many of us are receiving constant bombardments of information that affect the way we see ourselves and each other. It can be difficult to have a firm grasp of one’s individuality.
This can be especially true for modern men and boys, who may scroll through the news only to feel guilty, rejected or unfairly blamed for the ills of the world. Like many others, you might feel that no one cares that you’re struggling.
You may feel unable to put your frustration into words. Many of us didn’t grow up with a strong male role model who encouraged us to release our emotions and pain. And, societal and cultural gender roles can create immense pressure on men and boys to act differently than they really feel.
As a result, it can be hard for men especially to integrate our experiences and feelings into our daily behaviors and communications. It can be strange and painful to untether from the habits that make us feel safe as we navigate our daily lives.
The truth is that bottling emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Even if you don’t realize it, you might be turning your feelings inward. This is often a major reason for symptoms of depression in men.
However, it is possible to find peace in your own skin. You can feel both safe and authentic as you navigate both your briefest encounters and most intimate relationships. You can reconnect with your friends, colleagues, and loved ones in unexpected and joyful ways. Most importantly, you can find the courage and tools to express your most genuine self.
In sessions, I provide an open, dynamic atmosphere for you to discuss your situation. As your therapist and ally, I listen without judgment. Through dialogue and mutual respect, we can reach a collaborative and comprehensive understanding of your personal experience. Then, we can uncover what you—as an individual—need to find some peace.
As a male therapist, I can offer unique insights into some of the challenges men and boys face, as well as the expertise needed to help you overcome them. To support you in understanding who you are and who you can become, I will share Jungian and psychodynamic concepts with you. These may sound foreign now, but the ideas they encompass are based on shared experiences throughout all of human existence.
For example, in Jungian psychology, there are “archetypes” that exist in our unconscious minds. These are culturally created and shared blueprints or ways of being in the world, and they tend to unconsciously guide our actions and behaviors. By talking through these concepts, we’ll discover why you feel stuck. Are you caught in an archetype that doesn’t honor your true self? What expectations are holding you back?
Another aspect of our sessions is a scientifically backed process called Attachment Focused-Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (AF-EMDR). It is the gold standard for providing relief for anyone, and can be extremely effective in alleviating trauma, depression, and anxiety symptoms in men.
Through EMDR therapy, you can begin to re-establish your relationship with anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, and fear of embarrassment.
As we move through the work of integrating your inner and outer selves, you can learn to accept both your faults and your positive attributes. You can begin to see yourself as a dynamic human being, with much to offer. And, while you make positive changes for yourself, you can also develop more collaborative, inspiring relationships and find your footing in the world.
Best of all, many of the cultural pressures will seem to melt away, leaving you free to be the authentic, empowered male you were always meant to be.
Another kind of men’s therapy I run is men’s support groups, and I have been doing this kind of work for seven years. I have seen so many clients come out the other side of men’s group therapy feeling relaxed, confident, and comfortable with themselves, able to relate to both men and women with authenticity and grace. I trust the same growth is possible for you.
I’m afraid of talking about how I feel.
Although we all grapple with cultural expectations and strict notions of masculinity, I invite you to consider therapy a safe, neutral place that’s all about you. In sessions, you and I are on the same, level ground. I will open up alongside you, to assure you that you aren’t alone. As we build our therapeutic relationship on a foundation of mutual respect, we’ll talk about everything, getting it all out in the open so you can begin to engage with who you really are.
I can’t afford men’s therapy, or I don’t want to spend my money on it.
I always say that therapy is worth an initial investment of 4-6 sessions. In this time, you can get a feel for my approach, assess whether or not our sessions are helping you, and take home some useful information in the meantime.
I don’t want to make any major changes in my life.
It’s not necessary for you to make changes. Your actions are completely up to you. What we will do is discover what, in your life, serves you positively and what does not. For example, if you are frustrated by fights in your relationship or workplace, we can talk about how to manage anger. Even better, we can discuss where the feelings come from, giving you the deep self-understanding you need to get in touch with the richness of your emotions.
When you open yourself to the unknown, it can certainly be difficult— but it’s often worth the struggle. Many of us are afraid to face the luminous truths that exist within us, but I believe so many would benefit from this work.
